Post by myers alerts on Jul 29, 2009 9:59:32 GMT
BRIGHTER THAN THE SUNSHINE
are the people of Haddonfield!
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Meet me! Your local source for local knowledge. I can give you all of the tasty information your life has been lacking. And more. So if you hear anything make sure to give me a shout and maybe you will appear in our next issue. Ahem.
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SUCK MY BLOOD SUCKER
And you thought we only had Mr Myers to owe our fame too. Ha! Ha! Ha! Let me enlighten you not only do we have our slasher boy but we also have our very own vampire coven.
You probably thought those girls in the pictures was the same girl. Maybe they are, Hell I do not do take my own photos! But I do know that Nyree Black and Aciaca Black are not the same person. If you were to look at them you would see two people although apart from that and their living residence I'm pretty sure they're the same.
Nyree's a cold blooded vampire killer. And Aciaca thought she could get away without us knowing the truth?! I do not put people at risk by lying! Unlike her. The girls were born with a rare disorder which means they need blood to survive, they need to drink blood. Now my dears do you really feel safe sharing a room with Aca?! I certainly know I don't. In fact I think she should be thrown in the nut house. Haddonfield certainly needs less psychos on the lose. But then again without the psychos, where would my job be?!
WACKO JACKO vs Mr Catch!
What can one expect when two competitive womanizers share a dorm together? GOSSIP, OF COURSE! Like Britney said! Only this time we got a little more than we bargained for, following in Haddonfield's tradition, naturally. It was reported that just last night Mr Banner put a spanner in the works by taking a knife to his roommate, Theo Spencer. This suposedly happened in an arguement over who was the better looking one. Boys! Can't live with them, can't live without them! Either way I guess it's up for us girlies to decide the conclusion! On top of that a sneaky peak caught Jacko heading towards the Sanitarium. Maybe the results of that fight were a bit too hard to take. It's official, and you heard it here first, our town is turning insane! Yum yum, I've always been one for a bad boy.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SET A BARBIE DOLL ON FIRE!
Missy Hayven, the vegetarian animal rights activist whom everybody hates also seems to be following in the traditions. It's rumoured that she left the outdoos shop with a whole host of flammable substances and some matches, along with a plan of how to set Ashley on fire. I would never make this up of course! And as for Libby, she also has a murder plan because these two girls have been steaming after her man, Mr Theo. I never thought that guy would sink so low... as for the third death trap, lets just say little miss Barbie has more than a thing or two plastic. However from a fake nose to fake boobs we just don't know how much.
And that's all from yours truely for today.
Remember I can never be one hundred percent accurate, but if I was wouldn't that just be boring?! Get chatting, get bitching, send me all the juicy photos and gos for me to spread in issue two and remember folk, just because Mikey set one tradition doesn't mean you can't set your own.
xxx
